


Please Don't Go

by CMGUYSGIRL



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-12
Updated: 2015-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-17 11:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3527231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMGUYSGIRL/pseuds/CMGUYSGIRL
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Instead of Derek Morgan being the one who realizes Strauss is drinking on the job, it is her lover, David Rossi. When personal and professional mix, will their relationship survive? What lies ahead for Section Chief Strauss? Will she lose everything she has ever wanted? One mistake, that is all it takes to put her job and her relationship in jeopardy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please Don't Go

Please Don’t Go

Disclaimer: I don’t own the show. 

A/N: David Rossi and Erin Strauss deserved a chance to grow old together. I am dedicated to telling the stories they never got to live. This story was started when I had an ideal and posted it to the forum on January 3, 2013. The original Ideal along with a lot of other adoptable story prompts can be found at the forum: https://www.fanfiction.net/myforums/cmguysgirl/4300737/  
The story is complete. The last two paragraphs came to me today (I had the ideal for the line about being weird a week or so ago but didn’t know how it would work in, but Erin insisted it needed to be in the story and today they told me how and allowed me to finally come to a good place to end their story, well this one). I will be posting it in chapters, at Fanfiction.net even though I didn’t originally write it to be a chaptered story, to make it easier to read if you don’t have time to sit down and read it all at once as it is over 15,000 words.

A/N 2: Maybe the writers will realize that the fans want STROSSI and will bring Erin home out of Witness Protection. I know the actress Jayne Atkinson is supposed to guest star on tonight’s episode and they keep bringing her back each season, so they must want the character to stay fresh in our mind for some reason…

“Losing someone you love, is one of the greatest tragedies a person can suffer in life. The heart is torn in two, with no hope of ever finding it’s other half” (CMGUYSGIRL). 

Please Don’t Go

Erin was drinking again. As many times as he had talked himself out of facing that fact, he could no longer delude himself about the issue. Oh he had come up with a multitude of excuses for her behavior- but no more. He loved her too much to let her continue down this path of self-destruction. He loved her… The more he thought about it, the more Rossi realized that was a huge part of the problem.  
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David had confronted Erin a few weeks ago and asked her if she was drinking again and she had done something that in all the years he had known her, she had never done before. Erin Strauss had looked him dead in the face and bold face lied to him.  
Deep down, he had known at that moment it was a lie, but he didn’t want to accuse her falsely and possibly ruin her progress in her fight to stay sober if he was wrong, so he let the subject drop; That was the worst mistake David Rossi had ever made in his life and that is saying a lot for a man who had lived as many years as he had. Every day he enabled her to go on as she was, while accepting the falsehoods she had told him, was a day he allowed her to put her life and the lives of others at risk. And that was UNACCEPTABLE.  
It would be one of the hardest things he would ever do but David knew he had to confront the love of his life and force her to admit she was hitting the bottle again. She had a problem and ignoring it would not make it go away.  
Rossi knew if she was in her right mind and her brain hadn’t been polluted by the alcohol, Erin would be horrified that she had sunk so low as to be drinking on a case.  
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He had called her on it after they walked out of Col. Massey’s office and she had tried to make him believe he was wrong. The older agent had raised his eyebrow at her and stared her down. The look of shame and revulsion that appeared on her face at that moment, before she was able to hide it behind the Strauss aloofness, nearly broke his heart- but he knew he had to stand firm. If he didn’t get her out of there before anyone else realized she was drunk on a case, her career, the one she had given her blood, sweat and tears for almost half her life, would be ended in a state of disgrace. Rossi loved her too much to let her do that to herself.  
As soon as they were outside and he was sure no one could overhear their conversation Rossi confronted her with anger in his voice, “You’re Drunk. I can’t believe you are drinking on a case. What the hell is going on with you?”  
Internally Erin was panicking but it never showed on her face. She schooled her features into a look of confusion and addressed him.  
“What are you talking about David? Why would you say something like that? We don’t have time for games. We have to get back in there and get him to tell us what he is hiding.”  
“Do you take me for a fool, Erin Strauss? Do you think I can’t smell the alcohol on your breath?”  
“You are mistaken Rossi” she growled out.  
“I don’t think so” Rossi said shaking his head sadly. He knew he couldn’t allow her to go back inside and question Massey. The Senior Profiler realized he had to get her out of there, quickly, before someone else realized that she had been drinking on the job.  
“Erin, go wait for me in the SUV he directed. I am going to inform Hotch that you became ill, all of a sudden, then I am going to take you back to the hotel and you are going to sleep it off. “  
“Agent Rossi, don’t overstep your bounds. I am fine. I just need to pop a couple mints and no one will notice. It’s just, all the pressure to solve this case got to me and I needed a little bracer. It has never happened before and it won’t happen again. Now just give me a minute and we can go back in there and finish interrogating the Colonel. He knows more that he is saying about the deaths of those poor boys”. Strauss told him as she pulled the container of mints out of her pants pocket and tossed a couple in her mouth.  
“Oh I agree with you, that he knows more that he is telling, and the team will find out what he is hiding but, you won’t be going back in there today. Do you know what this would do to the credibility of the BAU, the whole FBI, if it gets out that a representative of the agency was drunk in the field? That would be bad enough, but it will be ten times worse, when it becomes known that it is a Section Chief. You are always spouting off about protecting the agency’s image, every time you bring one of us in your office to rake us over the coals for a minor infraction that has been or could have been potentially embarrassing to the Bureau, do you really need me to point out how hypocritical you look at this moment, ‘Chief Strauss’?”  
The fact that ‘her’ David had addressed her as ‘Chief Strauss’ instead of Erin was proof to Strauss of how disappointed he was in her. She could count on one hand the number of times that Rossi had addressed her by her title since she had been promoted; If he was introducing her to someone in her official capacity, that was different, in that situation, he would always give her the proper respect by introducing her as Section Chief Erin Strauss but any other time, she was just Erin. He said they had known each other too long and too much water had passed under the bridge for the two of them to stand on such formalities. If no one else was within hearing distance, he would whisper the fact that he was sharing her bed made it even more asinine. She agreed with him, for the most part, as her natural reaction was to address him as David, when she didn’t catch herself, but for appearance sake around the office she usually referred to him as Agent Rossi or just Rossi.  
Hurt by this more than she would have ever admitted, Erin Strauss fell back on the famous motto: That the best defense is a good offense. She drew herself to her full height and put on her most intimidating pose getting into Rossi’s personal space.  
“It is not your job to tell me what to do, Agent Rossi. In case you have forgotten, I am the Section Chief and still your boss. I am in no way impaired and am perfectly capable of doing my job, so I am going to forget your little stunt of pulling me out of there and not write you up for insubordination this time but it better not happen again or I will not be so lenient”.  
“Nice try sweetheart but you forget who you are talking to. I know all your defense mechanisms and right not you know I have you dead to rights. Since I know you are a proud woman and a smart one at that, I am going to give you two choices: One, you can stand here and blow and bluster and we can create a scene whereby you will have to explain to the Director exactly what transpired here once we get back to Quantico, if he’s not on your phone before then demanding an explanation of why one of the agency’s most respected employees is accusing you of being inebriated while on duty. And yes I am well aware that you have a pristine reputation around the agency, which by the way I am trying my hardest to help you keep intact, but don’t forget the director has also known me for many years and the one thing he knows about me, is that I am not a liar. You should also take into account that with the volume that our arguments ascend to, we will have quite the audience, including the team of profilers you are charged with leading. Do you really want to humiliate yourself in front of them, knowing you have to work with them every day?  
Now your second choice, and personally this is the option I would go with, is for you to let me be a friend and get you out of here before it is too late. I’ll drive you back to the hotel, you sober up, promise me that you won’t drink anymore on this case and keep that promise. No one will be the wiser but me and you and we can wait until this case is over and we are back home to discuss what happened here today, just the two of us, away from the agency. It’s your choice, but choose wisely Erin because if you make the wrong one, you can’t go back and undo it”.  
Strauss knew she was backed into a corner. Normally that made her come out fighting but she was smart enough to know in this case, there was no way she could win. So she acquiesced to Rossi’s request and slowly made her way back to the vehicle.  
Deep down she knew her drinking was getting out of control but knowing it and admitting it, even to herself, was just not something she was mentally ready to do. Yet, she was an excellent statistician and knew this battle with Rossi was lost. Erin Strauss was well aware that the first rule of engagement was to do whatever necessary to live to fight another day. She looked at Rossi and the look of hurt and sadness radiating off of him was enough to rend her heart in two. She knew that the fact that he was trying to look after her instead of being on the phone with the Director right now was a testament to how much he loves and cares about her. David Rossi was a lot of things but one of his greatest strengths was his dedication to his profession. The fact that she had tarnished that, was enough to make Erin Strauss hate herself by the time she arrived at the SUV to wait for David to take her back to the hotel. 

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Strauss stops drinking and Rossi thinks thing are looking up again but she soon starts acting out of character and they start having problems in their relationship. Unbeknownst to Rossi, Strauss has started drinking again. Things get real rocky and he notices the changes in her and how she is acting again, like she was before when she was drinking. He starts to suspect she is drinking again but doesn't want to accuse her and possible ruin her progress and their relationship if he is wrong.  
Erin has become even better at hiding the alcohol around the house, now that she is living with David and in her office.  
David and Erin attend a big fancy Agency function. When he excuses himself to go to the bathroom, he comes back and sees her replacing an empty glass on a waiter's tray, before taking another drink and downing it quickly. Rossi notices her looking around for him but where he is standing, her view is blocked of him, even though he can see her.  
Erin’s attention is diverted by someone coming up to make small talk with her. Dave quickly makes his way over to her and sees her with the glass with Alcohol in her hand. The conversation ends just as he walks up. He politely takes the glass from her hand, saying in a voice to low for anyone but her to hear, that they are leaving, now. She tells him not to be silly. It was just one drink as she couldn't let people see her not drinking as she doesn’t want anyone to suspect she has a problem with alcohol. Rossi calmly tells her that unless she wants to discuss it right then and there, which would create a scene, she was going to continue smiling, quickly make their excuses and leave with him right now.  
Erin does as David says because she desperately doesn't want anyone to know she has a drinking problem and she knows that as angry is David is (he may look calm and like he is smiling to anyone who doesn't know him as well as she does, but she can tell his smile is fake; She knows his temper is more volatile the quieter he speaks.  
Strauss also thinks at this point she can convince him that it was just one drink in a social situation, no harm, no foul. Little does she know, Rossi saw her drink more than one glass and that he had suspected she had fallen off the wagon before tonight.  
She tries to start a conversation in the car on the way home but he lets her know quickly that in the interest of them safely arriving home, they need to table the discussion while he is driving.  
Once they get home, he suggests she go up and change while he locks up as it is going to be a long discussion and she might want to be comfortable for it. Rossi is really trying to buy himself time to calm down before he says or does something he will regret.  
David pulls off his jacket and loosens his tie but his mind won't let go of the fact that she is lying to him and still sneaking around drinking.  
He starts to search the house. Rossi finds quite a few of her hiding places and as he finds the bottles and flasks, he gathers them and puts them on the living room coffee table.  
David is shocked by the number of bottles he has found, just downstairs but in no way deludes himself into believing that he has found them all. He hears Erin coming down the stairs and tells her he is in the living room. She has a smile on her face until she walks in and notices all the bottles of Alcohol.  
Strauss tries to act like she doesn't know anything about the alcohol. When that doesn't work she tries to seduce him into forgetting about them. When he rebuffs her, she gets angry and starts a fight.  
David is not going to let her divert him away from the real issue. He asks her how many more she has hidden away down stairs. Then he asks her how many does she have hidden upstairs. She angrily tells David it is none of his business and that she is a grown woman and she can drink if she wants to.  
Rossi tells her she has to make a choice, once and for all: him or the Alcohol. He tells her he can't live like this any longer. David implores her to remember how it almost destroyed her the first time. He reminds Strauss of all she lost the last time she was drinking and that she was slowly but surely gaining it back. Rossi asks her does she really want to throw everything she has away again, for a drink?  
Next he tells her that he loves her more than she will ever know but he just can't stand by and watch her destroy herself again. He reminds her, he promised her that he would stick by her side every step of the way as long as she fought this demon, but now that she has stop fighting it, as much as he wants to stay, he just can't.  
David says to Erin, “You are the love of his life and I would lay down my life for you, without reservation but I will not sit back and enable you to kill yourself slowly with alcohol. I just can't do it Erin”.  
He gathers up the bottles on the table, puts them in the box he had placed on the floor next to the table before carrying it into the kitchen. Strauss asks him where he is going with them. He tells her to pour them out. She tells him not to do that. Her words fall on deaf ears.  
She then begs, pleads, and threatens him to try to keep him from dumping the alcohol down the kitchen sink. Desperate to stop him, Erin tries to physically pull him arm back but he is stronger and fueled by his righteous anger. His arm doesn't budge. When he has emptied the last bottle he demands that she tell him where the rest are hidden around the house. She lies and tells him there are no more. Rossi shakes his head and calls her on her lie. She sticks to her story and promises him she is through drinking.  
David says “okay Bella”, even though he doesn't believe her. He walks around her and heads upstairs.  
Strauss stares at the sink for a few minutes and checks a few of the bottles to make sure there is nothing left in them. She goes to one of her secret hiding spots, that Rossi missed in the Kitchen and takes out a miniature and downs it, before popping a few breath mints, then going into the living room as she thought he would have returned to sit in there.  
Erin sits down and waits for him, thinking he is either upstairs changing or just needs a minute to himself to calm down, then, he will come find her and they can make up, now that she has convinced him that there is no more alcohol in the house.  
She hears Rossi come back down the stairs and calls out to him that she is in the living room. He come into the room and she notices he is carrying a couple of suitcases. Erin can't wrap her rational mind around the fact that David is actually leaving her. She mentally grasps for explanation that she desperately wants to be true, that he is just going on a case but she knows if that were true, he would just have his go bag, not his suitcases. Still she is desperate not to believe the reality of the situation and stands up and shakily walks over to him saying, “Did you get called in on a case”?  
Dave looks at Erin sadly, takes her in his arms one last time and kisses her forehead. David hugs her tight, like he never wants to let the hug end. In a way he doesn't as he knows once he lets go, he is going to have to find the strength to walk out of her life, and let her go once and for all. She made her choice. As much as it hurts him to know, the Woman he loves with all that he is, loves alcohol more that she loves him.  
A lone tear escapes his eye as he finally releases Erin from the hug. David Rossi had been married and divorced three times, but all three of those divorces together didn't rip his heart asunder with the ferocity of the events of the last few hours.  
As much as he wanted to, David knew this was one battle he couldn't fight for the woman standing before him.  
Erin is now openly crying. Rossi brushes the tears off her face and kisses each of her eyelids, before saying to her in a choked up voice, "I will always love you Erin Strauss. I meant it when I told you, when I came back to the FBI and we fell in love again, that no matter what may come in my life from now on, I could no longer imagine waking up another day and not loving you. I spent 10 years trying, but finally realized it was impossible, so I just stopped fighting it. When I told you that no matter where I go, from now until the day I die, you will always have my heart, I wasn't lying. I meant every word I said and I still do. You don't know how much, I wish you loved me as much as I love you. I know you tried Erin, but I can see that your desire for Alcohol is stronger than your love for me. I can't stay and watch you drown in the mire this stuff places your life in. I tried to be your lifeline. I really did and I am so sorry I failed you”.  
Erin spoke up through her tears and said “you didn't fail me David, and I know you love me, so please don't leave me”.  
David tries to smile at her but he just can't as he sadly shakes his head and says “Yes I did fail you my love, as I wasn't able to give you enough of what you needed in your life to fight this disease. I did try Erin; I did my best; I am just sorry for both our sakes, it wasn't enough. He gently brought his lips to hers in a fleeting kiss and then turned and picked up his suitcases and proceeded towards the front door.  
Strauss is crying harder now. She follows behind Rossi, saying “Okay David. You made your point. Take your empty suitcases back up stairs. We can talk about this, I promise”.  
Rossi says “They are not empty” without turning around.  
Erin breathed a momentary sigh of relief when she saw him put the suitcases down when he reached the front door, but then she realizes he just did that so he could turn off the alarm and undo the locks. She is behind him now and presses one hand against the door in a last ditch effort to keep him from opening it. Her heart screams, she will do anything he asks as long as he doesn't leave her. His lover leans her head against his back while throwing her other arm around his waist and holding on to him, begging him to not walk out the door, promising him, she will do whatever he asks, if he stays.  
Erin whispers to David, “I will get help. If you stay, I will tell you where each and every bottle is David, I swear, just don't leave me please”.  
It was killing him to hear how broken and desperate she sounded and to know he was the cause of her crying this way, but he didn't know if he could believe her, after all the lies she had told him lately. Rossi wanted to believe her more than anything in this world but he wasn't sure she would stick to her word if he stayed.  
What convinced him is that, she started telling him where she kept the bottles in her office at work. He hadn't even realized until that moment she had sunk so low that she would risk losing the job she had worked so hard for the last 21 years for, by having alcohol hidden all over her office and drinking on the job.  
David still hadn't turned around and Erin still hadn't released her grip on him. He wasn't sure he wasn't still going to have to leave. He told Erin that she needed to get help this time and not the same kind of help as the last time, as it obviously didn't work.  
He tried to turn around after she agreed but she still had a death grip around his waist with one arm. “I need to turn around sweetheart, I want to look at you he told her”. She eased her grip but didn't let go, afraid he would slip away from her.  
Rossi turned and put his arms around her and held her head to his chest. He told her, “We can't go on like this. If I stay, tomorrow morning we will both call in sick. I will contact the EAP (Employee Assistance Program) and work with them to find you a rehab that will be able to really help you win your battle with this disease. You will then voluntarily check in tomorrow and you will stay there until you complete the program. Even though this is a voluntary commitment, you still have to put in the hard work to get better and you have to promise me you will not just tell them what they want to hear just to get out, because sweetheart, this is it. This is our last chance. If you walk out on the program or BS your way through it, then I am gone for good. I will know in my heart that I have done everything I can to fight for the love we have. All I am asking is that you meet me halfway. I know it won't be easy and I am going to thoroughly check out the program before you enter to make sure it is going to do what it is intended to do, teach you ways to cope with your addiction. But that can only happen if you are willing to fight it Erin. So it is up to you. But you have to decide right this minute and once you make a choice, know there is no going back”.  
Strauss tells him she will go to rehab but tries to negotiate with him not to call the EAP, to let her do it outpatient as she doesn't want the job to know, because she fears her career will be over.  
David tells her it will be alright but he can tell she doesn’t believe him. Rossi tells her it is her choice: his way or he walks out that door right now. He then shocks her by saying that, he won't just be leaving the house they share, but he will be leaving the job also, as he can't stand to be so near her every day, knowing she can't be his.  
Strauss tells him she loves him and she can't lose him and agrees to go to rehab and do things his way.  
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It was a long night. After Strauss had shown Rossi where the rest of the bottles were, that she had hidden all over the house they shared together, including the ones she had taped behind the toilet tank in the Master Bath and downstairs hallway guest bathroom, they set about the task of making a quick dinner, but unfortunately, neither of them had enough of an appetite to eat hardly any of it. After the food was put away and the kitchen had been cleaned, they made their way up to the bedroom in complete silence. Usually, silence between them was comfortable, a sign of them being in love and on one accord but tonight, it was just oppressive and seemed to be an omen of the hard, dark days that lay ahead.  
The rest of the evening didn’t go any better. Since they knew it would require all their strength to get through tomorrow, they decided to just get ready for bed and turn in early. Dave offered to allow Erin to shower first, declining to join her as he would usually do. Once they were both showered and ready for bed, they climbed in silently. Normally their goodnight kiss was slow and sensual but tonight, it just reeked of desperation.  
Erin’s moods were all over the place. At first, she tried to beg, plead and cajole David into not placing her into an inpatient rehab. When that didn’t have the desired effect, she ran the gamut from softly crying, to angry threats. One moment she was shoving him away, swearing she never wanted him to touch her again; the next second, she was desperately clinging to him, as if he would disappear before her very eyes, if she dared to loosen her grip in the slightest. She finally ended up full out sobbing on his chest. David’s heart broke a little more each moment he lay there holding her as she cried herself to sleep. He hated seeing her this way and cursed the fates that had brought her to this point. David wished with all that was in him, that he could take the pain and sorrow this addiction afflicted on his Erin’s life, away. To say it was an emotionally exhausting night for both of them was an understatement.  
The next morning, Rossi gave Hotch a call on his cell phone, bright and early. He wanted to catch him before he arrived at Quantico, as he wanted anything he revealed in this conversation off the record and reduce the chances of someone else overhearing what they said. He didn’t want to wake Strauss so he had quietly slipped out of their bed, out of their room and made his way downstairs before dialing Hotch’s number.  
Aaron Hotchner was a true friend to Rossi and always had his back. His relationship with Erin Strauss had started out very rocky, but they had begun to develop a better working relationship in the last few years, once Strauss had realized, that their actions in the field were not signs of recklessness but an overwhelming dedication to their job and the Oath they swore to uphold. She still read them the riot act, when she felt they needed it, which was still a lot more often than he or the team would have liked, but she also had gone to great lengths to back them when they were in the right lately, even going so far as to fly out and personally ream a local Sheriff in a case they had in Wyoming, for withholding pertinent information and then threatening to bring him up on charges of Interfering with a Federal Investigation and Obstruction of Justice.  
Once she started dating Rossi, Hotch and Strauss had been forced to try to get along outside of the office as stubborn as David Rossi was, he had refused to be forced to choose between spending time with the woman he loved and his best friend. He had sat them both down and launched into a tirade on how he refused to hide the fact that he was talking to one or the other on the phone or limit the time he spent with one because the other was over.  
At first, they begrudgingly did it because they cared about David and he was an important figure in their lives but a few hours later, they had both loosened up, while laughing at Rossi’s expense and realized that the other’s Office Persona, was just that, who they had to be at the office, not who they were inside.  
Becoming friends outside of work, improved their working relationship even more, as they begin to understand, that they could accomplish even more if they found a way to compromise. Once they did that, they were an unbeatable team, it seemed. Instead of working on critical matters separately, Strauss now invited Hotch and sometimes Rossi, to help strategize on the budget, ways to improve agent safety, and each team’s apprehension rate. David was happy that two of the most important people in his life now got along.  
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As he listened to Rossi tell him what was going on, Aaron knew that even if he and Strauss had never become friends, even if their relationship had remained as contemptuous as it was when he first started working under her, he would never use her secret against her.  
He knew first hand, the devastating effects Alcoholism could have on those who suffered from the disease and their families first hand, as his father had lived with the same issue, until a few years before he passed away. His father had been a mean drunk, taking his frustrations out of Aaron, his mother and younger brother Sean, before hitting rock bottom and seeking help. Hotch had received too may scars, physically and emotionally from that time, to stand by idly and watch another family be destroyed by the disease. He told Rossi, that he would do what he asked and not to worry, just take care of Strauss.  
Hotch also let David know that he was there for him, if he needed to talk, after he had finished admitting Erin to the facility. ‘Officially, Rossi and Strauss had both called in. Strauss had a family emergency that would take her out of town and Rossi was sick. Erin had asked David to inform Hotch that she wanted him to take over her duties during the interim, supervising the same departments as before and she would text her secretary, giving her instructions and advising her she would be working with Hotch for the time being’. David thanked him and ended the call before going back upstairs to check on Erin.  
David woke Erin up with a soft kiss on the lips. He explained the conversation he had with Hotch and then Erin contact her secretary to go over how she wanted the office to run while she was away. While she did that, he went downstairs to his home office and began to make arrangements for her to enter a facility that would teach her the tools she needed to fight her addiction. Rossi researched a couple places and from the information he could find, the best one was the one he had in mind all the time, Meadowbrook New Life Center. He had known a few people treated there and while they had admitted it had been tough completing the program, they credited it with saving their lives.  
David refused to let Erin enter any place he had not thoroughly vetted in person beforehand, so he ended up having to speak with the Director of the facility, to be granted permission to tour the facility this evening, to set an appointment for a conference with the Director, about the need for the strictest of confidentiality, the requirements to complete the program, including time-frame, center policies and to assure himself while the center would set strict boundaries, Erin would not be mistreated.  
Once Strauss ended her call with her secretary, she took her time showering, dressing and fiddling around the room, as she worked up her courage to go downstairs and face what the day would bring. She wanted to run away, but her heart reminded her of all she would lose, including Rossi and her children, not to mention a job she had worked so hard for over the last two decades.  
She finally joined her lover downstairs. He was in the kitchen preparing breakfast having already finished his phone calls, including one to his lawyer to set up an account to pay for Erin’s stay at Meadowbrook and to ensure she had everything she needed while there. After they finished eating and had placed the dishes in the dishwasher, he took Erin by the hand and led her into the Living Room, where they sat on the couch. They had a long talk, where he outlined the plan for the day and the details on Meadowbrook, including what would be expected of her. He told her, they would be checking into a hotel near the place for the night, as they wouldn’t have a room for her until tomorrow. Rossi also informed her that he would be taking a tour of the facility himself, this afternoon, to make sure this place was a good fit for her. David asked Erin if she had any questions about the plan or her stay at the facility when he was finished. Strauss shook her head no, as she held on tighter to his hand, before burrowing closer into his chest, softly whispering, “I’m scared, David”.  
“I know you are sweetheart, but I promise you, everything is going to be okay. It won’t be easy, but you can do it. I have complete faith in you. You, Erin Strauss are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Your love is what keeps me going, when life seems unbearable. The years you were married to someone else, was one of the worst times of my life, right up under losing James, the day he was born. I loved Carolyn, but the truth is, we were drifting apart, even before our son died. While she will always hold a special place in my heart, she was never the woman, I was destined to spend the rest of my life with. You, Erin, are that woman. Honey you are my Soul Mate, but you are so much more than that. Not only do you understand me better than anyone on this Earth, but it’s like you own a part of my existence. When we were apart all those years, my life went on, but a tiny part of me, refused to come alive. Once I had you back in my life, even before we got back into a relationship, that part was fulfilled. It was like your Soul spoke to mine and said, you are back home where you belong, safe and protected, so it’s okay to come forth and live again. I want you to know that I love you, with every molecule of my being and that while we are apart, you are carrying a piece of my Soul within you. So if you ever need my strength to help you stand, know that even though we are separated physically temporarily, a part of me is still with you, wrapping you up in my love, sheltering you from the storm. Know that I am trusting and depending on you, to do your part to get better so you can come back home to me and we can both be whole again”.  
Erin was too choked up right then to tell David how much his words meant to her and were a balm to her turbulent Soul.  
They sat together quietly, holding each other for over an hour. Neither of them wanted to leave the comfort of each other’s arms. David knew it wasn’t going to be easy to leave her behind, when she entered the Rehab tomorrow but, he loves her enough to do what is in her best interest, even though it will rip his heart out.  
Rossi knew he couldn’t put it off any longer. They had to get up and go upstairs and pack, so he would be on time for his appointment with the Director of Meadowbrook. The center was a two hour drive away, plus he wanted to get them checked into the hotel and Strauss squared away before he left for the meeting. David hadn’t wanted to leave Erin alone in the hotel with her thoughts and nothing else to do while he was gone, so he arranged an afternoon of pampering for her at the hotel spa while he was gone. Rossi had made arraignments with the Concierge to ensure that there was no alcohol in the mini bar, allowed to be ordered through room service or served to Erin while in the spa, as her treatments would last well beyond the time he would be away from the hotel. He also planned to take her out to a fabulous dinner and special night on the town that evening, at an out of the way, secluded restaurant, because he wanted her to have a wonderful memory to hold onto while she was in rehab.  
C  
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“This is not a Celebrity Clinic, Mr. Rossi. Another thing, I must warn you about, is that this is not a place where money can buy your loved one special privileges. Here at Meadowbrook, everyone is treated the same, no matter who they are or where they come from. Alcoholism doesn’t play favorites and neither do we. Our mission here, is to do what is necessary to help our patients live with this disease for the rest of their lives, without allowing it to become debilitating or take over their lives. We can’t do that if we don’t impress on our residents, that they must put their all into the program. Anything less and they are just wasting their time and money as they will not be successful in the program, nor in the fight against relapsing once they have left the facility”.  
Meadowbrook’s Director had been upfront with Rossi about how things would go during Strauss’ stay and David was impressed with both the Director and the facility. He felt more comfortable about entrusting them with her care after the tour and his meeting were over. On his way back to the hotel, he thought about what he would say to Erin, to reassure her that Meadowbrook was indeed a place that could help her, kick alcohol out of her life for good.

Erin's stay at the facility had been a real eye opener for Rossi and a source of unmitigated frustration. He was a man used to getting his way and having the lady at the reception desk tell him he couldn't bring in the things his girlfriend had requested of him, was definitely not helping him have a calm relaxing Saturday Afternoon. It was Erin's favorite Mouthwash, Shampoo/Conditioner, perfume and other hair stuff for goodness sake! What harm could they do? Just because they were in this place because of an addiction, didn't mean they didn't deserve the right to look and feel pretty.  
He mentally counted to ten, Erin would be proud of him for not losing his cool right off the bat, fleetingly crossed his mind before he address the woman. Rossi knew he couldn't screw this up as he couldn't take the chance on being denied seeing his love today. It had been a month since he had laid eyes on her and that was Forty Three Thousand Two Hundred Minutes too long. He'd missed his woman so much that he had actually done the math on how many seconds they had been apart, over Two Million, Five Hundred and Twenty Nine Thousand Seconds... yeah he sounded like Reid, but love did strange things to a person.

Once he knew he could address the woman without calling her the black-hearted, which he wanted to, he calmly, well calmly for David Rossi, as her why he wasn't allowed to bring those things in to for his friend. “She is very special to me and all beautiful ladies deserved a little pampering every day. I am sure your husband tells a gorgeous woman such as yourself that all the time” the Handsome Agent stated turning on the Rossi charm in order to get the woman to allow him his way. 

Blushing like a school girl, the receptionist smiled at him before telling him she wished she did have a husband that felt that way about her but as much as she would like to help such a sweet man as himself, she couldn't allow those products into the facility as they contain alcohol. She informed him that, in their desperation to avoid withdrawal symptoms and/or during their worst cravings, some alcoholics had been known in the past to go so far as to drink those products, endangering their lives, so it was against the rules of the facility to allow them in from the outside. 

Now normally, Dave wasn't one to follow the rules but he had seen the desperation and depths that persons who are addicted to substances will go through to keep from experiencing withdrawal, so he agreed to leave the things at the desk and pick them up on his way out. He just hoped Erin understood why he acquiesced to the policy of the institution, instead of giving her what she wanted. Lucky for Rossi, Erin Strauss was too happy to see him to let a little thing like denied toiletries dampen their visit. The lip-lock she laid on him, was a testament to how much she had missed him. He was surprised that she would put on such a passionate display in public, but who was he to deny his woman affection. He not only returned the kiss but kicked it up a notch. Erin pulled away and slapped at his hands when they began to wander. “I may have loosened up a little David Rossi, one can't help it when your deepest darkest secrets have been brought to light and laid at your feet for everyone around to see, but I have not loss my morals. Behave there are children present and the way your hands were moving, the show we were about to put on was definitely not G rated”.  
“Sorry Bella, I didn't mean to embarrass you but I have missed holding you close and us making love to one another”.  
“Trust me David, the feeling is mutual and if there was a place where I could sneak away and be alone with you, I would but unfortunately, we are going to have to wait until I get out. As much as I want to tell you to let me sign out and take me home, I know now, that you did the right thing by forcing me to come here. Now that my brain is not soaked in booze, I can see just how much the alcohol was ruining my life and my relationships. It isn't easy, by any means but I am determined to stick it out and get better so that when I come home I can rebuild my relationships with you and the kids and make you all proud of me”. 

“Erin, we are already proud of you. The kids and I, know how hard you are working to get better. In fact the wanted to come see you but understood that you wanted to wait until you have made a little more progress before they come. In fact, they each sent along gifts to encourage you and to let you know they are rooting for you to beat this, they love you and can't wait to have their mother back home with them again”.

“Do you really think they will be able to forgive me David?”

“Erin you are their mother and despite your drinking problem, you have always done your best to be a good mother to them. They know that and they know you have never intentionally done anything to hurt them. Yes your drinking was hard on them emotionally, but children are resilient and when they know their parent really loves them, they are quick to forgive. I have seen kids over and over again, forgive parents who have never done anything but hurt them, so why wouldn't your children who know you have sacrificed so much in your life for them, forgive you”?  
“I pray you are right David. God knows I do because I don't think I could survive, if they rejected me for the rest of my life”. 

“They will, you will see when the time comes. Now enough of talking about mistakes of the past. I haven't seen my woman in a month and I want our reunion to only be a happy one. So tell me, what is the first thing you want to do for yourself when you get out of here”?

“I honestly don't know David. We are supposed to not look to far ahead, to take things one day at a time. That is hard for me as it has been ingrained in me all my life to have a Five Year Master Plan”.  
Rossi sighed. He hated that Erin had to go through the things she did as he never wanted anything to hurt her but he was glad she had gotten a handle on her sobriety. “I can understand them not wanting you to feel the pressure of creating lists of things that are waiting and not getting done while in here but I can't see how it hurts to have something to look forward to.”

“Now I know that it is easy to get depressed when you are away from home and family so I thought about it and I came up with an ideal that might cheer you up when you are feeling down. We both know that you and I love each other and I can't wait until you consent to be my wife”. 

“I can't believe you are still considering marrying someone like me”  
“Why wouldn't I want someone as wonderful as yourself, and no your drinking problem doesn't make you any less wonderful in my eyes or my heart, as my wife? But I know you will not consent to become Mrs. Rossi until we are both retired and that will be sometimes closer to another decade if we have our way.”

“Maybe for you David, but don't try to sugar coat it, we both know that after Agents Morgan and Hotchner found out I had been drinking on the job and have a problem with Alcohol, my career with the FBI is over”. 

“Nonsense Erin. Your position as Section Chief will still be waiting for you when you are ready to come back to work and you know it. Aaron and Derek went out of their way to protect the confidentiality of your situation. The only people who know where you are and why are: Director, The head of the EAP, Hotch, Morgan, Garcia and myself. We told Penelope, to ensure that she could monitor all electronic communications and ensure your privacy was respected”.

Erin groaned and buried her head in her hands. “What is wrong?” Dave asked her. “If you are worried about Garcia saying anything, she won't. Despite her reputation, she can keep a secret”.  
“It's not that. Penelope has become a good friend since you and I have been dating and I know she can keep a secret, as she kept the fact that you and I are a couple to herself. It's just that I have come to think of her as someone I can be close to and I care about her opinion and now I have lost respect in her eyes too”.  
“If you think Kitten is that much of a fair weather friend, you don't know her as well as you think you do. One thing she doesn't do is give up on the people she cares about” Rossi said with Vehemence in his voice.  
“Erin looked up at him with tears in her eyes, "Are you sure about this?" 

“As sure as I am about the fact that I love you with all my heart”.

“If you are that sure, then I have no choice to but to believe you, Erin said, trying to hide the chocked up emotion that her voice was betraying. “Now what was this thing, that you think I should be looking forward to, while I am in here,” she asked while threading her fingers through his.  
“Well it's simple, I want you to plan us a Whimsical Wedding”.  
She had heard of a lot of different types of weddings but this was a new one on her. “What in the world pray tell is a Whimsical Wedding”.  
“As you know, most weddings are a serious and sedate affair. The engaged couple, well the bride really spends all of her time, making sure everything will be perfect for that day. So much so that, they and everyone around them become stressed out and I have seen arguments result from this that have derailed several weddings. Very few people actually have a fun wedding. Most people have the wedding that they think other people expect to see. So what I want you to do is come up with the most outrageous, outlandishly fun wedding you can imagine. Since this is not a real wedding, i.e. no deadlines, no meeting with wedding planners and caters, there will be no stress or pressure. Take as long as you like and remember since this is all imaginary and just for laughs, you can do anything you want”.  
“David, you know my personality, it doesn't exactly scream, life of the party, well at least not since I have become sober.”  
“Ah that line would work on me, Erin Strauss, if I didn't know you as well as I do for as long as I have known you. You see my dear, I remember what you were like when you graduated the academy. Despite the fact that you didn't have the time of day for me or any other guy while you were a Cadet, the first few years after you graduated were anything but staid and sedate on your weekends off”.  
“You must be remembering another female agent you came on to, David Rossi”  
“Oh contraire, my love, there is nothing wrong with my memory. Perhaps it is yours that is faulty if you have forgotten the time you stripped and then went skinny dipping with me in Moonstruck Lake; Or the time you threw me a Private Surprise Birthday Party and jumped out of my cake dressed as Marilyn Monroe, singing Happy Birthday to you, I still have that feather Boa you wrapped around my neck when you gave me the lap dance of my life. Ooh and let's not forget my favorite time when you” The hand clamping over his mouth, effectively cut off what he had been about to say.  
“Okay Rossi you win, I do have or in the past I had a wild side, but I can't believe you said those things here, there are children present David”!  
“Calm down Bella, there are no minors close enough to overhear our conversation. Now that I have refreshed your memory and have you undivided attention, let me give you an example of what I am talking about.  
“Well I am an outdoor kind of guy so you could plan a sportsman wedding. The wedding could take place in the lake and both the bride and groom can wear hip waders. When they are pronounced man and wife, before they kiss, they can try to catch a fish with just their hands. Muggi could be the ring bearer. I normally would not even suggest this but, you could tie short (so he can’t bite them off or swallow them) pink, red and white ribbons with hearts on them to his dog collar and attach the rings to the ribbons. All the guest can dress in camouflage and we can walk back up the aisle to them blowing duck calls. Then the reception starts by seeing who can bag the most ducks. Don’t worry if no one catches any fish or kills any ducks, we will serve Beanie Weenies, Chili and Pigs in a Blanket at the reception. The wedding cake can have a picture of a bed on it and an anatomically correct reproduction of us on it. The kids won’t be allowed to see the cake they will be served a cake with the weird dog/wolf creature finally catching that elusive bird on it. Instead of dancing, we can have a tractor pull contest and play horseshoes. Instead of an open bar, we will be serving Kool-Aid and Strawberry Milk. All wedding party picture will be taken on or around a rented Mechanical Bull. For the Bridal gown, it will be a one piece. Picture it, A Spaghetti strap lacy, white halter-top attached to some green dungarees, ending in puce colored footies”.  
“Stop”, Erin gasped out before he could go on to describe what the groom would be wearing. She was laughing so hard she could hardly breathe. “David Rossi you have lost your mind, but I love you for it” she told him while shaking her head and trying to catch her breath. “That is the first good laugh I have had since before I entered this place”.  
“You are more than welcome but I was just doing my job. When a man loves a woman, it is his duty to keep her happy, no matter what. I haven’t been doing a good job of that recently, but I promise you baby, I am going to step up my game, once you are back home”.  
“David Rossi, don’t you dare put yourself down. You are already sweeter to me than I OR ANY OTHER woman deserves. If any other man told me he would stand by my side through all this, I wouldn’t believe him, but with you and all that we have been through together through the years without you giving up on me, I can believe it, hold on to it and trust it enough to keep from believing the voices that plague me in the quiet of the night, telling me I am unlovable because of my demons”.  
It was a major confession for Erin and showed how much she trusts him not to hurt her that she was able to share that with him. He pulled her against his chest and held her tightly, as she fought to keep control of her emotions and not cry in such a public setting. While he knew the release of the crying would cleanse her soul a little, he had to weigh it against the detriment that it would do to her psyche and the massive amount of self-flagellation she would endure for going against her grain and breaking down around all these strangers. To help her make it less obvious what was going on and to calm her down, he began to sway them from side to side and singing one of their songs. By the end of the song, she was back on an even keel. She loves his voice, so smooth and deep, and asked him to sing her another song. Before they finished the second dance, the announcement was made that visiting hours were over and that all guest had to leave. 

Like any other task Erin Strauss took on, she jumped into the project whole heartedly and succeeded beyond and all expectations. She decided to use it to help David, in the same way he intended it to help her, as a way to relieve all the stress in life and to focus on something besides the demons that keep you awake at night and plague your subconscious with, would have, should have, could have’s. To that end, she sent him ‘updates’ on how the wedding planning was progressing, every so often. He tried to hide it from her not wanting her to worry about him, but she could usually tell by his voice, when a case took a turn for the worse and he was devastated by the loss of young innocent life and frustrated that they hadn’t been able to apprehend the unsub yet. Rossi would come back to the office, when the team returned to town, climb the stairs to his office and see that he had a letter from her. He would sit heavily at his desk, his heart feeling like it was weighed down with lead and open the missive. The communiqué would always start with the normal pleasantries, then update him on how she was doing, and what activities she was involved in at the center before she would dive into the ‘wedding plans’. The first time it happened, Hotch was in his office, completing his reports and the rest of the team were in the Bull Pen, working on theirs while Garcia was passing out snacks she had run out to get when she heard they were on the jet heading home. She was just about to make her way up to Hotch and Rossi’s offices when it happened. Knowing how bad this particular case went, everyone was startled to hear Rossi guffawing in his office, loud enough to come though the closed door. Being nosy, as the group tended to be, even though they would never admit it, they gave each other looks, like they were questioning if Dave had lost his mental sanity and by unspoken agreement, got up to go check it out. Hotch joined them as they got to the top of the staircase and they walked down to the next office and proceeded to knock on Rossi’s door.  
“Come in” Dave managed to breathe out through laughs.  
The group crowded in Dave’s office and every profiler in the room, went against their rule and did a quick profiling assessment of the man. Garcia, not being a profiler, decided to just come out and ask what was going on.  
“Ah Kitten, it seems that the Master, has been surpassed by the student” he answered her cryptically.  
Now even Garcia was starting to worry and gave him a funny look as he didn’t usually respond to a question with such a ‘Gideonesque’ answer.  
The profilers in the room, had concluded that he didn’t appear to be suffering any type of mental break but were confused as Rossi usually was a little more forthcoming with his answers or changed the subject so smoothly you almost forgot you asked him a question, instead of answering in a mysterious way, because he knew that would just lead the person to probe deeper. If the answer you sought, was something Dave didn’t want you to find out, he would definitely not invite you to inquire more, he would subtly shift the focus elsewhere, which is what made him such a dynamic negotiator.  
While Hotch and the others were working out the best way to get him to give them a straight answer, Dave had gotten himself under complete control, okay a small smirking laugh slipped out and he shook his head what his little minx of a fiancée had written in that letter, and started to explain why he was laughing so hard.  
“I received a letter today from an old friend. We had talked on the phone recently and she must have sensed the case was getting to me so she wrote to me to try to cheer me up. We are involved in a … sort of challenge to see who can come up with the craziest wedding. My friend doesn’t like to lose and I must admit, the ideals she wrote about would be extremely difficult to top”.  
“You know Rossi, after three marriages, you ought to be an expert on planning them” JJ teased her oldest teammate.  
“Et tu, Blondie?” he mock growled.  
“Sorry Dave, but you made that one too easy” she shot back.  
“So what was in the letter, Rossi” Morgan’s curiosity forced him to ask “and remember Dave, there are young innocent ears present” Derek said, playfully covering Reid’s ears, like you would do a young child if you didn’t want them to hear something inappropriate.  
The look Reid gave him would have incinerated him if it had been given by anyone besides the baby-faced Doc.  
“Back to the letter, what’s so funny in it Rossi?” Emily chimed in having been more patient than usual.  
Dave pretended to contemplate what to say before giving them an evil grin and stating, “Well I would but our boss is in here and right now we are supposed to be working on our After Action Reports and I wouldn’t want to get in trouble with him, so…”  
“Oh no Dave, you are not going to use me to get out of this one” Hotch retorted.  
Penelope took out her phone and began to punch keys rapidly.  
Rossi spotted this and decided to use it to keep his friends in suspense a little longer.  
“What are you doing on your phone Kitten, he inquired?”  
“Oh nothing really” she smiled innocently, which should have been a red flashing sign that he was in trouble. “Although Mr. Anatoli may not seem so happy to hear that one of his best customers no longer has an account with his company and will no longer be able to receive his monthly shipments of his favorite Cuban Cigars and Single Malt Scotch”.  
A suddenly pale Rossi was quick to reassure Garcia that he got the message and begged her not to hit any more buttons.  
She smiled brilliantly and told him she just needed to exit the page, she gave him a brilliant smile and tucked her phone back in her bosom.  
The room erupted into laughter as a chagrined Dave began to layout the ‘wedding details’.  
“Now as I said, the goal is to come up with shocking ideals. Er… oops he thought, I almost divulged Erin’s name. He quickly covered by saying, “err, now let me see where I want to start. The bride’s wedding outfit seems like the best place. The lovely lady will be wearing a Rainbow colored Tutu, with large sunflowers attached. Underneath that will be leggings, with one leg Red and White Candy Cane striped and the other Purple Polka Dotted. The top part of the ‘dress’ will be bright blue in color and shaped like a bustier. It will have long Polyester sleeves. One sleeve will have the brides name spelled out and the other will have the groom’s name spelled out, in lime green glitter glue. The veil will flow from a bird’s nest and her hair will have a large tuck comb in it with a big Tiger attached to look like he is about to pounce on the bird. The Bridesmaids will be dressed as cheerleaders. Her Matron of Honor as a Majorette, complete with Flaming Baton. Now the Groomsmen will be decked out as football players. They root for two different teams so two will be dressed in Red and Gold and two will be dressed in Blue, Orange and White. The best man will be dressed as their favorite singer, ‘the King’. Someone owed them a favor so the wedding venue will be on the roof of the Pentagon. They love pool parties so the guest will be advised to come in bathing suits, as they will be seated in inflatable pools which have been designed to look like a giant Phallus. It would be too much to try to get beach sand all the way up there so they decided to use Easter Grass and say it is a Hawaiian theme. To which the Officiant will be wearing a grass skirt and coconut bra over his Maroon and Orange Tuxedo. For the reception, they will have a beer fountain. Since they can’t decide what type of beer they wanted to use as she likes imports and he is a domestic kind of guy they will mix the two, throw in some light beer, moonshine and club soda. They love to square dance so that will be the bride and groom’s first dance, but they will be doing it to rap music because the bride has an uncle who’s allergic to square dancing music and the last time they played it, he almost strangled two people at once and he used their bodies to beat three others. They thought about not inviting him to the wedding but the last couple that tried that ended up with dead fishes in the bed for the first month of their marriage.  
The groom’s father was in charge of hiring the entertainment so he booked his cousin ‘Sally and the Silkettes’. They were once a world renowned group of ‘Can Can’ dancers but stopped performing publicly when their youngest member turned 75. Sally said they would make an exception since it was family. She even agreed that they would wear their original uniforms that they first wore when they started the group in 1943. The gregarious lady promised that they would put on a rousing show, and would even ‘show a little leg’  
Instead of a money box or a money tree, the guests will pin condoms on the outfits the bride and groom will change into to wear as they leave on their honeymoon. They will not be traveling to the airport in a limo as their cousin Rufald told them his wedding gift to them will be a hay wagon ride to the bus station. He promised to leave the pigs that normally ride in the wagon at home, for the event. It will take them four days to arrive at their honeymoon destination, their cousin’s Claude’s guest house.  
After their world wind three day honeymoon, they will pack their backpacks and bicycle back home. Once they arrive at the home, In keeping with family tradition, several things will have occurred: When they try to stick their key in the lock, it will not work, as the locks will have been changed and substituted with a coded keypad and they have to figure out the correct pin number to unlock it, the foyer will be filled with whipped crème, chocolate pudding and cherries, so the groom can symbolically slide his way home as he carries his bride over the threshold, like he slides the way home into his wife when they make love. Next the blushing couple will have to complete a scavenger hunt as the bride’s family will have dismantled the Master bed and hid the mattress, box spring, rails, and bedcovering around the inside and outside of the house. ” By the time Rossi concluded his spiel, every eye in the room had bugged out at least once and everyone, including Hotch, had laughed until they cried.  
As everyone left his office, Dave was glad tomorrow was visitor’s day, because he couldn’t wait to recount for Erin, the teams reaction to her hilarious shenanigans. When Rossi recounted his tale the next day, Strauss couldn’t help but chuckle at their reactions and then she jokingly took a bow. He had donated all the meat and fixings for a bar-b-que, including picnic baskets and blankets, so after they ate, he and Erin chose a quiet corner of the ground and stretched out on the blanket with her laying in his arms. The talked quietly for a moment before she worked up the courage to speak about what was truly on her mind. She had almost completed the program and would be coming home soon. Normally the transition would have been happening more gradually with her finding a job outside of the facility and being trusted to go to work on her own to see how she resisted temptation, when in the real world, but since she was still under contract with the FBI, she was exempt from that provision. Rossi had offered to have her come to work for him editing his books but the Director didn’t think that was a good ideal as she would be ‘unsupervised’ during the work day. Instead she was given ‘limited volunteer office duties’ around the rehab center to fulfill her employment requirement. Now that the time was fast approaching for her to leave the structured environment, she was worried about her sobriety when she returned to the stressors of the outside world.  
Dave knew Erin better than even she would care to admit so when he felt her body tense and she started to shut down emotionally, he knew she was steeling herself for a rather unpleasant subject. Since he was aware that her release date was in the near future, he figured that was what was plaguing her thoughts. He wanted to jump right in, play the white night and alleviate all her fears but he knew one, that she needed to talk it out, as that was the way she did her best thinking and that two, a lot of her concerns were valid. While he knew, he would provide any support she needed to stay sober, he also knew that what she was facing was too important to trivialize it. Usually when a person was fighting an addiction, avoiding places that you used to go to indulge in the addiction would be a solution. Unfortunately with alcohol, almost everywhere a person went, it was present and for some reason, people became even more insistent that you indulge when you refused their original offer to imbibe. Even though millions of people suffered from the addiction, it was somehow unfathomable to the human brain that a person was allowed to decline a drink without it trying to insult the person offering. So he stayed quiet and let her chew on her word internally until she was ready to share with him.  
Strauss gave him a quick, tight hug and lingering kiss before she moved away from him physically. She knew she couldn’t discuss this with him, if he was touching her. Her mind and body had over the time they had been seeing each other begun to associate him with safety and protection, but she knew that alcohol addiction was something she would have to fight on her own. She was glad for his support and knew she was going to need it, but she also realized that ultimately the choice to take or not take a drink ever again, fell solely on her. As she began to recount her fears, Rossi began to build his counter argument in his mind. He didn’t want to interrupt her dialogue because he wanted her to know she could talk to him about anything and he wouldn’t judge her. Okay anything non job related as he would be a hypocrite to say that he had never judged her actions as Section Chief and knew he would be the worst kind of liar if he said he wouldn’t do the same in the future. When she finished he pulled he sat up and pulled her back gently into his arms and just held her for a few minutes. He then turned her to face him and looked her directly in the eye and informed her that, “your children and I will be there to support you the minute you walk out of this place, just as we have, while you were in here. They love you Erin and can’t wait to have you back home. You don’t need to worry about what it will be like to face them, after being gone for these months because even though you were not coming home to them every night, they still saw you every week, well I know they did every weekend that I was home and from what they told me about when we talked, your ex kept his end of the agreement and made sure they got here on the weekends I wasn’t in town. Besides the driver I hired to bring them up on visiting days would have informed me if he had been refused to transport them. So don’t worry about the kids, they are doing well in school and are chomping at the bit to have you back home again as the time for you to come home grows shorter. In fact they have already made me promise three times that they can come with me when I pick you up to bring you home. In fact, they are planning a few surprises for you, but I have been sworn to secrecy on the details”.  
“Ooh Agent Rossi, she said smiling for the first time since they finished eating, “if there weren’t children present and this wasn’t such a public place, I would make it worth your while to divulge those secrets”.  
“Never my dear, would I give up the confidences that my future stepchildren have entrusted me with”. When she ran her hand sensuously up his chest and blew on his ear, and nipped the corner of his lip before giving him a raised eyebrow as if to say, are you so sure about that, because I bet I could make you talk, he responded by winking at her and saying, “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t lie back and be a very willing participant while you gave it your best effort”. The wink was so audacious, she couldn’t help but chuckle. Strauss quickly sobered when she thought about her return to work and if her coworkers or friends found out where she had been on her supposed ‘vacation’ but Rossi assured her that it has been kept as quiet as possible but even if people did find out, she could hold her head up high as no one is perfect and we all have something in our past, and here he stressed the word past, that we are not proud of. They spent the rest of the visit, talking quietly and reaffirming their love verbally.  
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It was the night before the day she would be released and Erin Strauss was so nervous she couldn’t sleep. She had been packed hours before lights out and now she just lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, willing morning to hurry up and come but also terrified that it would get here. She was anxious to be able to spend time with her kids and David in private but she was worried that she wouldn’t be able to retain her sobriety and would end up disappointing them. As the hours slowly eked by, she had worked herself up so much that if there was even the slightest drop of alcohol nearby she would have downed it before she could blink and all her hard work would have been for naught. Erin knew she had to find a way to trick her brain into relaxing so she began to mentally relive the first couple of dates David took her on and their the first few times they were intimate. Before she knew it, she had drifted off to sleep and when she was awoken the next morning, if she had been at home in bed with Rossi, he would have definitely gone to work with a smile.  
She got up and took a very cold shower. She couldn’t wait to be back at home where she would have her own private shower and could bathe when she pleased, not when she was scheduled to. Erin decided to skip breakfast, or what passed for breakfast around the place. The cooks made good lunches and dinners but for some reason breakfast, always was a sloppy affair. She could make it a few hours without eating and she’d convince David to take her and the kids for a sit down breakfast once she was out of here. Time seemed to move extremely slowly as she had one more group and then individual session before she could leave. Strauss didn’t make friends easily but she had manage to make one or two while she was here and got along with most of her fellow rehabbers so they threw he a small going away party during the group session. It was really nice of them and quite unexpected, so she was understandably choked up by the gesture.  
Her final individual session was really just a formality, really. Her therapist gave her a chance to talk but didn’t really ask the deep, probing questions she had been subjected through in previous sessions. She had a few minutes before her family was due to arrive so she double checked her room to make sure she wouldn’t be leaving anything behind. Erin would have preferred not to attend the short graduation ceremony that would be held for all those being released that day but David and the kids were planning to attend to show her how proud of her they were. As soon as she had thought of them, the attendant knocked on the door and once he she had been bade to enter, informed Erin that her visitors, had arrived. Strauss thanked the woman and practically flew out the room, anxious to see her kids and the man she loved. They were just as happy to see her and hugs and kisses were shared all the way round with the kids teasing her and Rossi about setting off the smoke alarms, when the kiss went on for several minutes. The ceremony was thankfully short and by 10:00 am they were on their way. Erin couldn’t believe she was finally going home. The stopped at a small family owned restaurant and had an amazing country breakfast. Her eyes lit up as they left the restaurant and Rossi handed her the keys, saying, “Why don’t you take the wheel”. It was hard to imagine something so simple giving her so much pleasure but after months of not being able to engage in that activity and having very little control over one’s own life, she was thrilled at the prospect of driving herself and her loved ones back home.  
Conversation in the car was lively as they discussed some of the things she had missed that the kids hadn’t had a chance to tell her about since they had last seen her, their plans for the immediate future and Rossi told a ‘G’ rated version of Reid and Anderson going undercover at an exotic dance club.  
After about an hour of driving, Dave told Erin to get into the right lane and get off at the next exit. She protested that was not the way home but after he gave her a just trust me look, she made the move while traffic was light and then informed him just loud enough for him to hear, that if he got them lost, “his team would be searching for him”.  
“Trust me, Bella. I know what I am doing”.  
“Yeah, go with the flow Mom”, her son called out from the back seat. Another thirty minutes and a few more turn offs and they arrived at a lovely Bed and Breakfast They checked in and went down for lunch. While they ate, Dave and the kids informed her of their plans for the next few days. On the agenda were visits to an amusement park, Water Park, animal safari, botanical garden, tea room, magic show, art museum, family festival and renaissance festival. He also gave her a box and told her to open it. She gasped when she saw what was inside. Erin couldn’t believe what was inside. Rossi couldn’t help but grin at the smile on her face, when she saw her gift. He knew how much she loved this musical group and so he had gotten tickets for the two of them, not just to attend the concert, two nights after they got back home, but also passes to go back stage for a meet and greet, plus entry for the after party. Strauss was never one for excessive public displays of affection but this gift had her up out of her seat, hugging and kissing him, exuberantly. When she had calmed down, she whispered in his ear, that she thank him properly later, after the kids were asleep. Luckily for them, it was late in the afternoon and the dining room wasn’t crowded but she was still embarrassed when she realized she was sitting on his lap and they had garnered the attention of the other patrons. The rest of the lunch passed quietly with the kids eating quickly as they were anxious to get out and have fun.  
The days passed quickly. Erin, Dave and the kids had fun, doing family activities. He even hired a staff babysitter for one evening and took Erin out to dinner and dancing. As they packed up to head back to Virginia, Erin took Rossi’s hand and sat down with him on the bed.  
“I have had a wonderful time, these last few days David and so have the kids. I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you would do something like this for me and my children”.  
“Sweetheart, there is nothing that I wouldn’t do for you and those kids in the other room. They are great kids Erin. You did a good job raising them. I really can’t even take credit for the ideal, it was theirs. They wanted to spend some time with you, where you could relax and have fun, doing the things you like to do and where you and I could be a couple without worrying about someone seeing us and endangering your position. I knew you would only be happy if they were having fun too, so I encouraged them to come up with some things they would like to do too”.  
“Ah tell the truth Rossi, the water balloon fight, was solely your ideal, wasn’t it?”  
“I wish I could take credit for it, especially since I got to see you soaked to the skin” he said giving her a long lecherous leer.  
Before she could respond to that statement, the kids were knocking on the door, declaring they were starving. Erin bade them to go double check that they hadn’t left anything, then she quickly made sure she had everything packed while Dave called for a luggage cart. They checked out and hit the road, having promised to stop for lunch at the kids’ favorite restaurant chain.  
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Everyone was exhausted by the time they pulled into their driveway. Strauss had been pleasantly surprised when the kids informed her that they weren’t going back to their father’s house that night, as he had agreed to let them spend the week with her to help her get settled back in at home. The oldest reminded her that their father wanted her to call him before the week was over so they could discuss the transition to the kids coming back to live with her full time.  
Rossi told everyone that since it had been such a long day and they were all tired, just to grab out what they needed for the night and they could unload the car in the morning. He told the kids to go on in and get ready for bed as he wanted to speak with their mother privately for a min. Normally he would have gotten out and checked the house first but as soon as they heard the car pull up, his housekeeper and her husband had rushed out to welcome them home.  
Erin asked Dave what he wanted to talk about, becoming worried that he wanted to say something without the kids hearing. She knew he loved her, but maybe he had changed his mind about being tied to an alcoholic in marriage for the rest of his life. She worried the pendant around her neck, a sign that she was nervous and Dave picked up on it.  
“Oh Bella, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you. I just wanted to reassure you that we are going to be fine and that this is a new start for us. I don’t want you to go into it, beating yourself up about the past. We are going to leave the past where it belongs, in the past and from this moment on, go forth and be a family”. He kissed her quickly and they got out, went around the car and opened her door. Erin allowed David to help her out of the car and they walked hand and hand up to the front door. She was about to enter when her feet were swept out from under her. She gasped from the shock and instinctively her arms went around Rossi’s neck. Dave carried her over the threshold, somehow managing to close the door without dropping her, before gently placing her on her feet. He silenced whatever she was about to say by laying a serious lip lock on her.  
“Welcome home, Erin” he said before he turned and locked the door. They made their way upstairs after Dave made sure the house was locked up for the night. First they checked on the kids to see if they were okay and then went to their own bedroom where they fell exhaustingly on the bed. A quick change into sleeping attire because Erin still wasn’t quite comfortable sleeping completely naked with him, with her kids in the house, a few slow and heated kisses proceeded them falling asleep in each other’s arms.  
Strauss was awoken the next morning by the smell of breakfast and her kids bouncing on the bed, yelling “surprise”. David waited until she opened her eyes and took in her surroundings before he leaned down and kissed her on the lips, saying “Good Morning, sweetheart”. Afterwards he placed a food laden tray over her lap. She thanked them profusely, stating she ‘felt like a queen’ and promised them that she would make them all breakfast tomorrow, as she missed doing that and it had been her plan for this morning before they surprised her.  
Once all the food was consumed, they had to decide what they were doing that day. Most outside activities were dismissed immediately due to the heavy downpour. Dave announced he was going to take the dirty dishes down and load the dishwasher, so she could spend a little time alone with the kids, but he would go along with whatever they decided they wanted to do for the day.  
Erin Strauss could not remember the last time all three of her children had been in agreement on something, but this morning they all shocked her by expressing their desire to reinstate the Rainy Saturday Morning Snuggle fest. She was thrilled of course, especially since the oldest two were at that age where they were now embarrassed to be hugged by mama, so she agreed right away. Hopefully, she thought, David won’t mind too much, that we have taken over his bed.  
Harmony, of course, never last very long in a house with kids so the discord came in when they had to decide which movie to watch first. Strauss automatically vetoed a couple suggestions as too mature, too much profanity or too scary/violent (for the youngest). Once they came up with suggestions, that were mother approved, she had them write them down on a piece of paper, mixed them up and drew the first movie they would watch. Rossi returned to the bedroom just as Erin finished logging into her internet movie service account. He had always thought, Strauss was in her element at Quantico, wheeling and dealing, but looking at her lovely surrounded by her children, he realized he had never been more wrong. His Erin was born to be a mother. Her whole body just glowed with the love she had for them, it oozed out of her pores. They surrounded her, hugging her and lying on all over her like she would float away if they didn’t hold her down. It was almost too intimate a moment and he felt like he was intruding.  
“Erin is there anything I can get you or the kids before I head downstairs to the office to catch up on some paperwork?”  
“The kids are fine, but I need you right here next to me. Can’t the paperwork wait”? She asked. “You promised to spend the day with me, since we don’t know when we will get the chance to do this again, once you are back on the road.  
“How can I resist an invitation like that” Dave said as he removed his slippers and climbed back into the king sized bed. The children were draped all over her as she set against the headboard: Her son was on her left side, the youngest in between her legs as Erin gently ran her fingers through her hair, the oldest on her right side, so Rossi had to settle for sliding next to the oldest and stretching his arm out to wrap around Strauss’ shoulders.  
Erin had the stray thought that people might think it was a little weird, lying in bed with her children and a man who was not their father, but after being away from them all so long, she was too selfish to deny herself time that could be spent with the ones she loves. If her ex-husband or anyone else had anything to say about it, she would cross that bridge later. Her children we aware that she and David were affianced and they already loved him like a stepfather, so as the movie ended she called up the next movie on her play list, grateful to God that she had been given another chance at the wonderful life she almost drank away.


End file.
